I have {maybe} left him 8 times since he was born. I've been trying to get out a little bit more--grocery store trips, a few times to the gym, and doing some wedding planning with my sister. I know {in my head, anyway} that it is good for him to be away from me and comfortable with other people. And, it is good for me to have some "me time". When I go out without Max, I will leave him with JB or my parents. Even though JB is comfortable with him and spends lots of time with him when we're all together as a family, it seems like Max melts down and cries everytime I leave him alone with Daddy.
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| See?? Look how happy they are together. :-) |
I'm not talking a few tears and some whining. I mean that I get home and my little man is sobbing and whimpering with bloodshot eyes and a bottom lip sticking out. And, my husband looks so frustrated and upset that he can't calm him. It breaks my heart. I know that we just need to keep trying, and hopefully it will get easier for all of us.
But, in really good news---JB worked VERY hard again this past year, and we just found out that he made President's Club again this year. That means that we will be going on an all-expenses-paid vacation to the Rosewood Mayakoba Resort in Mexico in April. Doesn't this look amazing??
We've been extremely fortunate that JB works for an incredible company that treats their employees (and spouses) very well. This means that for the past 4 years, we've been able to go on 100% free vacations to Mexico, Turks and Caicos, and St. Maarten. Don't hate me! I am so proud of JB for all of the long hours, late nights, and traveling that he does all year in order to earn these trips. With all of that being said, I am EXTREMELY anxious about leaving Max for 5 days. He knows his Lulu and Pops (my parents) very well, and they are SO excited to be watching him while we're away. I know that they will be just fine, and Max will have so much fun with them. After all, they did raise 5 kids of their own. My anxiety has nothing to do with that. It is more about me. For the past 4 1/2 months, I've not let him out of my sight for more than a couple of hours. Even during the night, I have one eye on the video monitor watching him.
What if he cries the whole time we're gone? What if he refuses to sleep or eat because he's so upset? (That's a whole other issue---He only takes a bottle every once in a while. Most of the time he is exclusively breastfed. This is also something we'll have to start practicing.) What if he forgets about me? I know what ya'll are probably thinking. Meg--you are crazy. Get on the plane, enjoy fruity cocktails on the beach, massages at the spa, and SLEEP. I hope that I am able to relax once we get there and do just that. I am really looking forward to spending some quality time with my hubby and reconnecting with him. So, mamas out there--Please tell me you've felt like this too and it's normal. I just need to hear that to make myself feel better. Thanks--xoxo.
